first signs of winter

The show on Friday was great, the Assassins and I were in good spirits and the audience was wonderful. New songs were well received, debuted a brand brand new one called 'Stop Calling'. For the band members it's an incredibly fun song to play because it's the first song that I specifically heard Meredith and Matt's skills and strengths on. Lots of classical things for Mer, and lots of dynamics for Matt. The song Self-Employed Assassin (2nd from last) went over amazingly well too, Meredith does this beautiful, minute long, arabian influenced solo to start it. I love playing it. I love my band. They are great.
HUMANWINE and Reverend Glasseye put on fantastic sets, it was such a pleasure to play with them both. Two of my favorites.

Ok. So I had this tape when I was a kid, but recently bought the CD, Liz Phair's 'Exile in Guyville'. Does anyone else remember how absolutely awesome this CD is? It's 18 songs of catchy, sexy, stripped down and rockin', honest, beautiful songs. I have listened to it all weekend. I can't believe I forgot how good it was.

I finished Unbearable Lightness of Being, again. Yesterday morning I got up early and trekked down to my local cafe where I bought a cafe au lait, fresh squeezed orange juice, and a cherry ginger scone. It was cloudy and 45 degrees out, I had to put on my scarf and mittens. I ordered my breakfast and took over a couch in the back, it felt like Holland; the weather mixed with the cafe au lait. I sat there for over an hour getting incredibly emotional by the sheer beauty of the book, and how I had forgotten how much I loved and connected with it from the first time I read it at 16.

I watched the Graduate for the first time. Amazing film. Mike Nichols is a genius, the shots were incredible.

I cleaned my room from top to bottom.

I played a prostitute in Ad's short film, I think I will be in it for about 2 seconds.

It was a great weekend.

memory of a cardboard box

Probably two months ago I went to go see a show with some friends in NH. All of us were friends with one of the guys in the band, so afterwards we all hung out on the tour bus talking and drinking wine. We were only able to hang out for an hour and a half or so before the band had to take off for their next show Somewhere Else. However, we were able, or at least I was....I wasn't driving, to take in quite a few drinks in that hour and a half. It's strange how atmosphere denotes how much I am willing and can drink.

When I am at a show, I can go either way; I can be having a great time and listening to music and not notice that I just put down 5 vodka sodas, or I can be hanging out and not realize that I have been nursing the same drink for two and a half hours.
This was a night of not noticing as many beverages went down the gullet, so when we got back in the car I was feeling a little warm and giggly. On the way up we listened to Ace of Base, but on the way home we listened to 'The Eraser' and it completely put me in this thoughtful trance. Not a sleepy trance, but one in which I was totally wired and couldn't turn my brain off, I was really excited to get home and write something. I could feel it buzzing.

I walk into my house at about 1am, it seems like no one is home but it also seems like one of my roommates may be sleeping, so I quietly go into my room, turn on the lights, put my bag down, and decide I want to have one of our community cigarettes to try and calm down. I put my jacket back on, it was chilly but not too bad, and go out on the back porch consciously deciding to not bring my keys because my kitchen door does not lock unless done from the inside, and my door to the porch will get propped open. I open the kitchen back door, I open the back door to the porch, prop open porch door and shut the kitchen door behind me at which point I hear a "click".
"Wha?" I ask myself. I try the handle, it is indeed locked.

Fuck.

Well, there is nothing I can for the time being so I smoke my Export-A and think about this. One of my roommates may be home, I can try buzzing the door and see what happens, sure it's after 1am but....maybe.
I got to the front door. I buzz several times. I wait. Nothing.

Fuck.

I try every window, I knock on her window, I try picking my lock, there's good news....you can't break into my apartment! At this point it's about 1:40am, I'm tired now, my bed is taunting me because the lights are on in my bedroom, I can see it's outline through my curtains, I have no money in my pocket, no phone to call anyone, it's getting colder and I need to sleep, sometimes my roommate comes home in the morning. So, I go into the back area in between the kitchen door and back porch door and cuddle up, leaning my head against my barrier and try to sleep. It's not very comfortable, and there's an emergency light in the hallway. That's when I look down the stairs to the basement and think 'wow, it's a lot darker down there. Oh, yeah, and I just moved in so there are all those cardboard boxes I could lay out and sleep on! Yes!' So, I do. I go down the steps, throw some cardboard boxes on the floor, wrap my jacket around me and think 'I'm never going to forget this one.' Surprisingly, I fall immediately asleep, probably the combination of alcohol and tiredness.
Time passes, not sure how long, and in my sleep I think I hear someone that sounds like my roommate say something about a Gin and Tonic. I wake up and realize, no, that's actually my roommate. I run up the stairs where I hear a bunch of people laughing and knock on the door, they all fall immediately silent. I say '(Insert roommates name here), it's me Sarah.' She opens the door, "Wha?" spurts out of her mouth. I give her a rundown of the story as I fumble out of my clothes and into bedroom attire, everyone is in disbelief. 'You were sleeping in a cardboard box', 'well, ON one really. God, I've never been so happy to see you. Thank god you were out drinking on a Thursday night.' They keep questioning me, asking if I'm ok, assuming I have just gone through trauma by sleeping with cardboard. I go to bed. Warm. Soft. MMmmmmmm.

The next day I wake up and proceed to tell everyone that I meet about my night. Why I want to advertise this, I have no idea? The story seemed pretty ridiculous and embarrassing, and often time those are the best stories. If you can't laugh at yourself, then by god what can you laugh at?

Last night I was practicing with Meredith, she hadn't heard the story, she thought it would be a good blog.

What the fuck, I already told everyone else?

Little Blue World

So, it has been brought to my attention that I might be getting a mention in the winter edition of the Tori Amos fanzine 'Little Blue World'. Apparently, Tori's archivist was interviewed and said that I am an 'artist to watch'. Not sure if this will definitely happen, but I was sent a copy of the current edition and it seems to allude to that.
I just wanted to say thanks...even if it doesn't print. It is an incredibly thoughtful acknowledgement, and I so very much appreciate it.



In other news:
The new Decemberists album is fantastic.

If someone can find me a copy of Lavender Diamond's 'Artifacts of the Winged' I will love and cherish you forever. I mean it.

I am in the process of watching Kieslowski's "three colors" trilogy. I have been wanting to watch them for over ten years and I am finally doing it. So far I have watched Blue, and White, this weekend will be Red. I love love loved Blue, and White was fantastic, but I liked Blue better. It made me want to pull out my copy of Unbearable Lightness of Being and read it again. It's one of my favorite books and I haven't read it since I was 17, I'm looking forward to digging into it again.

'Something Beautiful' by Tracy Bonham is on repeat on my ipod.

I just finished the song that was sucking the life out of me last night, it's called 'Pillar of Tears'. I also wrote another something last night, I think I really like it, but will have to play it again later on to be sure. It came out of me in 30 minutes, I was feeling a bit inspired last night.


Oh, and I just got word about the Senate. To all you fellow peoples that voted....congrats. You done good.