Broken, but bound by blood

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It is likely that not every person in the world loves their family as much as I love mine. In fact, I feel pretty confident making that statement. I have close friends whose families make them feel like shit, are unsupportive, and bleed them dry. It breaks my heart that there are millions of people that don't have the connection and need to be with their sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers. I realize I'm lucky.
But luck doesn't mean perfection, and connection doesn't leave me free of issues. I have plenty.

This Christmas I spent it with my mom, my dad, Peter, and two sisters. My parents have been divorced since I was two. This was the first Christmas I've spent with my dad since their divorce. On Boxing Day, my stepdad's brother and wife came over. My mom and my stepdad have been divorced for about 10 years. My stepmom and dad (married 20+ years) are now separated, and my other two sisters were spending Christmas with her. I've been through almost three divorces and one death (someone that felt like a stepfather) in my 30 years. I have four sisters, but I am the only one made by my mom and dad. Everyone on my mom's side of the family has been divorced at least twice. My dad's brother and parents married their high school sweethearts.

What's the point of this blog?

The point is that I had an absolutely fantastic Christmas. I ran around NYC, taking in the last day of the Hockney landscapes exhibit with my mom, dad, Peter and two sisters. I was brought to tears by the color and wild abandon of Hockney's strokes, while also loving the sight of my mom and sisters sitting on the concrete floor discussing perspective. I ate with my mom and dad at either end of the dinner table. I made a chocolate bread pudding with bourbon caramel sauce that upon taking the first bite, everyone let out an 'oh my god'. We went to Sherlock Holmes on opening day (amazing). We all became addicted to Mad Men and watched the entire first season. My dad and I cried while watching 'Julie and Julia' solely because Julia Child was so passionate about what she did. This is my family. They understood why their local grocery store named 'Four Season's' is so ridiculous. We ate together. We drank together. We art-ed together. We played games at 2am and laughed our collective asses off. We listened to Neko Case while we ate oyster stew.

I have been hurt by them and have hurt them. I have laughed with them and at them. I have felt torn to pieces because of separations and relationships gone wrong. I have felt overwhelming love every moment they come into my head and heart. They are mine and I am theirs.

This is the modern family. Broken, but bound by blood.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah...this almost brought me to tears (which is saying a lot). I can relate to your commentary on so many levels.

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

10:25 PM  

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