oops...I did it again.

I have spent all the money that I have on CD's again. Walking and listening to my ipod is my only elixir right now, so I need my fix. Got to stay up on the times.

Music I am enjoying and would love to recommend:

Frida Hyvönen- 60's style Scandinavian pop. Plays piano, kinda repetitious like, but great harmonies and very cute and quirky lyrics. Not in a novelty way. In a 'I like the way you talk' way.

Joseph Arthur- I know I said this already, but honestly I am so in love with him right now. I literally listened to the song 'Tattoo' 9 times in a row this morning as I got ready. That doesn't even include how many times I listened to it yesterday, and how much I have listened to the two records I have over and over again this past week. He is one of the first to do the looping guitar thing. That's not usually my thing, but he does it so beautifully, and the songs are so honest. So good. God, I'm so in love with him. I want to buy all of his albums and become a collector.

Feist 'The Reminder'- I listened to her first album a few times and thought it was okay. A little too mellow for me. A few months back I heard a song from this new album and had a feeling that I would really like it. I do. It's fucking awesome. I love her voice, I love Broken Social Scene, but this album rocks my world. There's a guest appearance by Jamie Lidell, instrumentation is stellar, and the whole thing is produced so well. I can't even pick a favorite song right now because it's so great.

Bright Eyes 'Cassadaga'- I haven't always been a fan of Bright Eyes. Sometimes he gets a little too sad and pathetic for me, his voice was originally too whiny. I really loved his last two albums though, and Cassadaga continues to pull me in. This album is far more positive than his previous stuff, and the whole record is more open, with new types of arrangements and his exquisite lyrics (always something you can count on).

Björk 'Volta'- I love Björk. This album is another freakishly bizarre and beautiful display of her artistry. Earth Intruders has one of the most amazing and nasty beats I have ever heard. The track with Antony is heartbreaking, I think it's 'I See Who You Are'...could be wrong. His voice tears me apart with just a whisper, and the combination of her power and sweetness with his pain, is extraordinary.

Leonard Cohen 'Songs of Love and Hate'- Famous Blue Raincoat has always been one of my favorite songs, but I never have owned it on CD before. Now I do. I almost broke down in tears yesterday on the subway just READING the lyrics to Avalanche. The words flow so beautifully before they are even 'sung'.

Red House Painters 'Rollercoaster'- One of the saddest bands EVER. I bought this record for nostalgia, as I used to have a crush on this boy that played piano at this cafe that I frequented and also played at in So. Cal called Cafe Lolo's. He became one of my good friends, though I always had and probably always will have a crush on him. That's what happens when you don't consummate feelings.
Anyway, we hadn't had contact with each other in a few years and then he found me on the interweb. My heart jumped around like a schoolgirl. Silly. Oh well. I bought this record to reminisce, and I am.

I'm seeing Arcade Fire tomorrow night. God damn am I holding on to that like it's my last breath.

Matty G and I had a good rehearsal last night. Meredith, most likely, will not be playing with us much, or at all anymore. She is doing adult things like buying houses and getting her masters. Wonder what that's like? We are looking for new assassins to fill in, though we rock a lot just the two of us.

I want to embed some videos on my myspace page that some nice people have put up on youtube. I'm slightly retarded on the matter, so if someone has ideas, let me know.

ok.

xoxoxox

sarah

LIfe happens. You change.

I am in love with Joseph Arthur. I have just discovered him. I have listened to little else for 5 days now.
I was supposed to see him two weeks ago, but life happened and I had to go to NY. I'm pretty much exclusively listening to 'Come to Where I'm From', but I have also had 'Nuclear Daydream' in rotation. 'Redemption's Son' has been ordered and will arrive shortly. I adore him, I adore him, I adore him. I want to sing with him. I want to stand in front of the stage that he performs on and feel IT, that thing that some performers have, and some don't. I have a feeling he has IT.
I need some IT. I need it from someone else, and I need it for myself.

I've been going through a whirlwind of emotions. Some days I feel very much at peace and focused, other days I feel anxious and like I don't know myself at all. I want to spend sometime alone. Ideally I would love to go somewhere kind of far and just live for 3 or 4 days in a sort of silence. I would play and listen to music, but I would barely talk to anyone. Just watch.



Almost a year ago I went through a divorce of sorts. I had been with my boyfriend at the time for 11 years, he was not only my partner but also my family. When we broke up, he left and I was alone for three months in the apartment we had shared for 7 years. When I am upset or mad I clean like a motherfucker, and I did; even though I knew I would probably be moving out at the end of the summer. And I did.
Up until that point in my life, it was easily the hardest thing I had ever been through. The alone time was invaluable. I processed and played over all the things that went down, everything that I did wrong, all the memories we had together in the corners of each room. It's a hard thing to let go, we were with each other for almost half my life. You kind of have to rediscover who you are, and if all your faults are true to your makeup or if they were a result of being unhappy?

This thing with Dirk is the same sort of feeling, except that I don't have the alone time, and I'm not thinking about what I did wrong. To get alone time I have to walk for miles with my headphones in, and I do. I love walking. I walk all over the city and Cambridge.
You would think that if you had years to prepare for the death of someone that you love, it would be easier to swallow. It's not. Maybe the first day is easier, but not the weeks following.

I wrote a blog last week about how I felt so happy and hopeful. I didn't post it. Everyday changes.

People ask me why I haven't been booking shows and why I'm basically letting my talents go to waste. The answer for this past year is this: I'm letting life shape me, not me shape my life. I never do that. I always make things happen, always plan, always work and hideaway. I did not do that this year, as I couldn't. Hiding away would not allow me to experience all these changes and directions.
Things are different now. I am feeling the need to hideaway again. I am feeling the need to shape my life again. I am starting to feel ready.

I'm hoping that I record my album in September. I have a lot of work to do before that happens. It was supposed to happen last year in July, but life happened. It's been a long time coming.

I just put on Cocteau Twins. I love the music that I have learned about this year. It all has somehow become my favorite, music that I would go to a deserted island with.

I love the people in my life. I miss the people that can no longer be apart of it.

Life happens. You change.