jumping out of my chest

My heart is jumping out of my chest for the following:

Andrew Bird's 'Weather Systems' and 'The Mysterious Production of Eggs'.
I love him and want to collect all things related to him. I can't wait till he comes to Boston again, I'm going to stand in the front of the stage and smile and sway and close my eyes and weep. I'll be a puddle of love and devotion by the end. He can splash in me, evaporate me, I don't care. I'm his.

Magnetic Fields' 'i'. This is another band that I'm beginning to realize that I would have not liked when they first came out, but now I'm smarter and have better taste in music, and I love them. I'm such a sucker for pop music mixed with classical, you know? And his voice kinda reminds me of Ad's, and I love Ad. And his lyrics are fucking fantastic.

7 grain english muffins with ricotta cheese, honey, and strawberries for breakfast. This is not a band, but it is an unbelievable way to start your day. A little slice of heaven while remaining on earth.

'Capote' the movie. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is a god, and if he doesn't win every award in the world for his depiction, I will press 'that' button that blows everything up. I'm serious. He's a master in this roll, really absolutely inspiring.

My new delay pedal. It's weird and exciting and I am completely overusing it right now. I will learn to stop, but I can't bring myself to quite yet. But I promise, I'll keep the overusage to my practice room.

Oh, one more thing that is really great that everyone should pick up if you like that sort of thing is "Final Fantasy". It's a band, from the violin player (I think his name is Owen) from Arcade Fire. The violin parts are amazing, and you think all the songs are really sweet but then you listen to the lyrics closer and it's funny, sarcastic, and heartbreaking. I forget the name of the album. Has something to do 'home' I think.

Lastly, my heart is not jumping out of my chest for the Jennifer Trynin book 'Everything I'm Cracked Up To Be'. I have never read anything so depressing in all my life, mostly because it is my worst fear to be 35 and decide to give up everything because you will never have a career in music. Regardless of what level you are at. Granted, I don't write pop rock songs, and frankly don't really like that many pop rock songs, nor do I plan on being the next Alanis Morisette. But I still want a career of some kind, however small medium or large, and I am terrified to wake up one day and say 'this isn't worth it'. Chewed up and spit out. That's it. The next big thing that never was. oof. so depressing. Where does your art go, how can you replace that nagging feeling to create? How can you let it die? It's the most terrifying thought.