there's no shortage of volume

Nothing new, of course, but I’m an emotional roller coaster.

One day I’m blissed out, nothing can get me down, ‘oh my leg fell off, no biggie.’ The next, I’m brain dead. Exhausted. Can’t put sentences together.

I haven’t seen friends in weeks, haven’t gone out to shows, barely go outside at all. I’m trapped in a basement with low lighting and a futon that I can’t seem to stay awake on. Regardless of the time of day, noon or 1 am, I sit on this fucking couch listening to mixes, and I’m horizontal in minutes. I wake up intermittenly, interjecting notes, ‘no reverb. that’s perfect. I’m hungry’, and fall back asleep for a few minutes. I’m pretty beat.

The five songs with strings are done and mixed. They’re intense. Lots of drama. Lots of emotion. I’ve listened to them too many times now. I kind of want to give myself prozac. Do people still take Prozac?

I don’t really want to take anti-depressants. I’m just amazed at my neverending need to express myself at full volume. I have no shortage of volume.