Thursday, June 12, 2008
Ok. I'm starting to get excited again. My love of baguettes has not subsided, but I'm ignoring it and trying to focus on the record.
I don't like to procrastinate, but I do. I sometimes do my best work at the last minute. The album is done, I still have no artwork, but I'm finally coming up with ideas. I've been playing the album a lot, trying to analyze the faults so that when people point them out, they won't hurt so much. I won't be as weak. It's really a lame and counterproductive way to deal with things, but it's something that I've always done. Also, by seeing the faults, I know what to work on, but I also can see what's good and different.
I think this comes from my mother's approval. When I was a kid I would bring home artwork and be so proud of it. I had worked really hard on it, I knew mom would dig it. However, I would show her the picture and she'd say 'hmmm, that line is distracting. Or, that color changes the focus. But really good job honey, you should be proud.' She's an artist, she expects a lot from her kids.
My sisters and I give her shit for it now, and we all laugh at her for it, but at the time we got a little pissed. All that work for nothing.
I've listened to the album so much, and analyzed it so much, then subsequently listened to other records that I liked or that just came out and were new, that I started to get a little insecure. I need approval. I have strong opinions and have a healthy level of self-awareness and confidence, but constantly critiquing and judging does begin to wear on you. Especially since only a handful of people have heard the record. There isn't a surplus of people telling me it's great, or even that it's not, all I have is me running over worst case scenarios in my mind;
which makes me want to play it for people and plead, 'is this good? am I crazy?'
But I'm waiting. At least I'm doing that right.
We have a show on the 21st. I'm really excited about it as we haven't played since January or February. At our first rehearsal we had after not playing for months, when I opened my mouth to sing I think I literally croaked. Not good.
I was just outside running around for an hour and a half and I got a sunburn on that area between my neck and my shirt. I haven't had a sunburn in a really long time. Years probably. It's really freaking me out.
On another note, I just read Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder. It's a non-fiction about Dr. Paul Farmer whose mission is to bring better health care to Haiti, and then try to cure/eliminate the spread of TB and multi drug resistant TB in Haiti, Siberia, and Peru. It's an amazing story, and he's an amazing man. To do so much, all the time, for virtually no pay, and to be so excited about it... Admittedly, I thought how I could get so much done with my record if I had worked that much and slept that little. But it's different when you're doing it for the greater good of mankind, and not just for yourself.
I'm also reading Thirteen Tales by Diane Setterfield. I never read any Harry Potter books, but I have a feeling that my addiction to this book might be the equivalent of others addictions to those. This isn't a series, but it's chunky. 400+ pages. I started reading two days ago and I'm halfway through. Love it.
I've also taken up gardening. I realized last weekend that the reason I love it is because I can be outside working, and not just sitting around drinking a beer or something. Which is great, and I wish I did it more, but I do like knowing that I'm doing something with my time. Enjoying myself while working, and sweating. You also get to take care of things. And if you take care of them well, they blossom and show their fruits. It's like children, but less time consuming. And not as much of a commitment. And if you don't like what's happening you can rip it out or cut it down. I don't recommend that with children, they need a bit more love.
My friends were talking about who their top 5 musician/actor dreamboats were. I named three actors, Daniel Day-Lewis, Robert Downey Jr., and Johnny Depp. I couldn't think of any musicians. If I could go back in time I could, but I can't now.
Speaking of Tom Waits, did you see his 'press conference' announcing his tour for places that are not near me?
Dear Tom Waits and Booking agent,
please please please please please please please play somewhere in Mass or NY. please.
xoxox
~sarah
I don't like to procrastinate, but I do. I sometimes do my best work at the last minute. The album is done, I still have no artwork, but I'm finally coming up with ideas. I've been playing the album a lot, trying to analyze the faults so that when people point them out, they won't hurt so much. I won't be as weak. It's really a lame and counterproductive way to deal with things, but it's something that I've always done. Also, by seeing the faults, I know what to work on, but I also can see what's good and different.
I think this comes from my mother's approval. When I was a kid I would bring home artwork and be so proud of it. I had worked really hard on it, I knew mom would dig it. However, I would show her the picture and she'd say 'hmmm, that line is distracting. Or, that color changes the focus. But really good job honey, you should be proud.' She's an artist, she expects a lot from her kids.
My sisters and I give her shit for it now, and we all laugh at her for it, but at the time we got a little pissed. All that work for nothing.
I've listened to the album so much, and analyzed it so much, then subsequently listened to other records that I liked or that just came out and were new, that I started to get a little insecure. I need approval. I have strong opinions and have a healthy level of self-awareness and confidence, but constantly critiquing and judging does begin to wear on you. Especially since only a handful of people have heard the record. There isn't a surplus of people telling me it's great, or even that it's not, all I have is me running over worst case scenarios in my mind;
which makes me want to play it for people and plead, 'is this good? am I crazy?'
But I'm waiting. At least I'm doing that right.
We have a show on the 21st. I'm really excited about it as we haven't played since January or February. At our first rehearsal we had after not playing for months, when I opened my mouth to sing I think I literally croaked. Not good.
I was just outside running around for an hour and a half and I got a sunburn on that area between my neck and my shirt. I haven't had a sunburn in a really long time. Years probably. It's really freaking me out.
On another note, I just read Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder. It's a non-fiction about Dr. Paul Farmer whose mission is to bring better health care to Haiti, and then try to cure/eliminate the spread of TB and multi drug resistant TB in Haiti, Siberia, and Peru. It's an amazing story, and he's an amazing man. To do so much, all the time, for virtually no pay, and to be so excited about it... Admittedly, I thought how I could get so much done with my record if I had worked that much and slept that little. But it's different when you're doing it for the greater good of mankind, and not just for yourself.
I'm also reading Thirteen Tales by Diane Setterfield. I never read any Harry Potter books, but I have a feeling that my addiction to this book might be the equivalent of others addictions to those. This isn't a series, but it's chunky. 400+ pages. I started reading two days ago and I'm halfway through. Love it.
I've also taken up gardening. I realized last weekend that the reason I love it is because I can be outside working, and not just sitting around drinking a beer or something. Which is great, and I wish I did it more, but I do like knowing that I'm doing something with my time. Enjoying myself while working, and sweating. You also get to take care of things. And if you take care of them well, they blossom and show their fruits. It's like children, but less time consuming. And not as much of a commitment. And if you don't like what's happening you can rip it out or cut it down. I don't recommend that with children, they need a bit more love.
My friends were talking about who their top 5 musician/actor dreamboats were. I named three actors, Daniel Day-Lewis, Robert Downey Jr., and Johnny Depp. I couldn't think of any musicians. If I could go back in time I could, but I can't now.
Speaking of Tom Waits, did you see his 'press conference' announcing his tour for places that are not near me?
Dear Tom Waits and Booking agent,
please please please please please please please play somewhere in Mass or NY. please.
xoxox
~sarah
posted by Sarah RabDAU at
11:57 AM
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